Possessive and Violent Relationships

Possessive relationships are initially confused with love. However, love is unconditional; possessive relationships are conditional. There is a relationship between violence and self-destructive behaviors in teenage girls. One in five girls has experienced physical or sexual violence by a dating partner. Many of these girls admitted to risky behaviors such as smoking, suicidal thoughts and attempts, unprotected sex, drug use, or unhealthy weight control methods. Teen males can be victimized as well. Some teenage girls threaten to injure or even kill themselves if a boy leaves them.

Many girls remain in violent relationships because of the following: 

• Girls see violence and abuse as common and normal.
• Girls who have witnessed violence between parents learn that violence is a part of relationships.
•  Some girls are unaware they are in violent relationships.
•  Possessive relationships turn violent when the girl wants to date someone else.

Issues That Contribute to Involvement in a Possessive or Violent Relationship

• Insecurities
• Low self-worth
• Fear of abandonment
• Power and control
• Clingy attachment
• Jealousy
• Neediness
• Anxiety

Facts about Possessive/Violent Relationships and Teens

• 1 in 5 girls has experienced physical or sexual violence by a dating partner.
•  Many of these girls admitted to risky behaviors such as smoking, suicide thoughts and attempts and protect unprotected sex, drug use, or unhealthy weight control methods.
•  There is a relationship between violence and self-destructive behaviors in teenage girls. 

Warning Signs to Look For…

1. Is the boy/girl possessive? Jealous?
2. Is he/she critical of your appearance, physical characteristics, friends or opinions?
3. Are you spending more time together than with friends?
4. Are there injuries that you deny having or do you make up excuses for bruises?
5.  Do you feel embarrassed or reluctant to talk about the relationship?
6.  Are you turning to drugs or alcohol to “forget” about it or cope with the pain?

If you are in a possessive and/or violent relationship, seek help!

Call your local shelter for domestic violence or 911.

Your safety, health and life are valuable and you don’t deserve to be mistreated by anyone!