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The Nurturing Parent

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  1. Introduction
  2. Getting Started & Assessment
    Description and Orientation
  3. Change, Growth and Letting Go
  4. My Life Script
  5. Nurturing Parenting
    Nurturing as a Lifestyle
  6. Nurturing Skills Rating Scale
  7. Cultural Parenting Traditions
    My Cultural Portrait
  8. Developing Spirituality in Parenting
    Ways to Increase Spirituality
  9. Making Good Choices
    Smoking and My Child's Health
  10. Families & Alcohol Use
  11. Families and Alcohol Use Questionnaire
  12. 12 Steps to Keeping Children Drug Free
  13. Self-Awareness Quiz
  14. Love, Sex, STDs and AIDS
  15. Dating, Love and Rejection
  16. Touch, Personal Space, and Date Rape
  17. Possessive and Violent Relationships
  18. Growth and Development of Children
    Children's Brain Development
  19. The Male and Female Brain
  20. Ages & Stages: Appropriate Expectations
  21. Ages & Stages: Infant Development
  22. Ages & Stages: Toddler Development
  23. Ages & Stages: Preschooler Development
  24. Ages & Stages: Skills Strips
  25. Feeding Young Children Nutritious Foods
  26. Toilet Training
  27. Keeping My Children Safe
  28. The Importance of Touch
    The Importance of Parent/Child Touch
  29. Infant & Child Massage (Refer to the Nurturing Book for Babies and Children)
  30. Developing Empathy
    Developing Empathy
  31. Getting My Needs Met
  32. Myths and Facts About Spoiling Your Children
  33. Recognizing and Understanding Feelings
    Helping Children Learn How to Handle Their Feelings
  34. "Feelings" Exercise
  35. Criticism, Confrontation and Rules for "Fair Fighting"
  36. Problem Solving, Decision Making, Negotiation and Compromise
  37. Managing and Communicating Feelings
    Understanding and Handling Stress
  38. Understanding and Expressing Anger
  39. Understanding Discipline
    Improving Self-Worth
  40. Measuring My Self-Worth
  41. Children's Self-Worth
  42. Ten Ways to Improve Children's Self-Worth
  43. Developing Personal Power in Children and Adults
  44. Helping Children Manage Their Behavior
  45. Understanding Discipline
  46. Developing Family Morals and Values
  47. Developing Family Rules
  48. Child Proofing Your Home
  49. Home Safety Checklist
  50. Safety Reminders by Age
  51. Rewards and Punishments
    Using Rewards to Guide and Teach Children
  52. Using Punishments to Guide and Teach Children
  53. Praising Children and Their Behavior
  54. Time Out
  55. Punishing Children's Inappropriate Behavior
    Why Parents Spank Their Children
  56. Verbal and Physical Redirection
  57. Ignoring Inappropriate Behavior
  58. Developing Nurturing Parenting Routines
    Establishing Nurturing Parenting Routines
  59. Nurturing Diapering and Dressing Routine
  60. Nurturing Feeding Time Routine
  61. Nurturing Bath Time Routine
  62. Nurturing Bed Time Routine
  63. Prenatal Parenting
    Changes in Me and You
  64. Body Image
  65. Keeping Our Bodies and Babies Healthy
  66. Health and Nutrition
  67. Fetal Development
  68. Foster and Adoptive Parents
    Foster & Adoptive Children: Attachment, Separation, and Loss
  69. Expectations on foster and Adopted Children
  70. Worksheet for Adoptive Parents
  71. Worksheet for Foster Parents
  72. ADDENDUM
    Parenting Resources
Lesson 3 of 72
In Progress

Change, Growth and Letting Go

Hope4Families October 25, 2022

The hallmark of nurturing parenting is the willingness to examine one’s thoughts, feelings and actions on a daily basis to ensure that actions are respectful to oneself, to others, and to the environment. When the nurturing parent discovers their actions might have been disrespectful, the proper course of action to take is to apologize for acting disrespectfully and to be mindful of future Behavior. The element necessary for this to occur is openness to change. Nurturing parents are spiritually involved in the lives of their children.

Fight Or Flight Posture

When someone offers a suggestion or an observation for change, the person immediately gets into a fight or flight mindset. Some examples are: 

  • Blaming
  •  Anger
  •  Dismissing
  •  Criticizing
  •  Arguments
  •  Leaving the scene

Example:

Mom says:

“You know you’re never around at night to help put the kids to sleep. I really need your help.”

Dad says:

“Well if you were more organized, you wouldn’t need my help. The problem with you is…”

Defensive/Closed Posture

When someone offers a suggestion or observation for change, the person immediately closes up. Some examples are:

  • Withdrawing
  •  Obstinacy
  •  Silence
  •  Denial
  • Looks of disregard
  •  Excuses

Example:

Mom says: 

“You know, you’re never around at night to help put the kids to sleep. I really need your help.”

Dad says:

“I don’t remember you ever asking me for help. Am I a mind reader?”

Open To Change Posture

This posture best represents the open to change; open to listen posture. Some examples are:

  • Eye contact
  •  Look of interest
  •  Pleasant tone
  •  Ask questions
  •  Desire to help
  •  Seeks clarification

Example:

Mom says: 

“You know, you’re never around at night to help put the kids to sleep. I really need your help.”

Dad says:

 “I’m sorry I haven’t been available to you. Let’s make a plan. What can we do to work together?” 

The most critical factors to being open to change are:

  1. Valuing the need to change. The changes need to have worth before sincere efforts can be made.
  2. Valuing the other person. If suggestions or observations come from a person who holds little value, the comments will seem more nagging.
  3. Using mindful awareness. Being aware of your thoughts and feelings; how you come across to the other person; the mood of the person you’re talking with; the situation, Etc. Are all necessary for using the best judgment in responding.
  4. Having the appropriate skills or “know how” to change is an art and a science. Knowing how to change will facilitate the change itself.