Couples often disagree. Some disagreements are over small stuff such as what items to put on the pizza.
Others are bigger, such as when to have a first child. Still others are relationship-threatening, such as
whether each partner agrees to only have sex with their partner. Most really bad arguments, the kind
that can lead to domestic violence, happen when two relationship partners have very different value
systems. For example:
- One wants “freedom” while the other wants “family.
- One values “first caring for yourself ” while the other values “first caring for others.”
- One values “getting high” while the other values “getting sober.”
- One values “teaching kids responsibility” while the other values “teaching kids love.”
- One values “emotional privacy” while the other values “talking everything out.”
What kind of conflicts over values have you run into in your close relationships? How have you handled
these conflicts? Have any of your value conflicts played a part in an act of domestic violence?