1) Figure out some new, more effective actions to take:
• Analyze what’s going wrong.
• Quit doing what isn’t working.
• Develop new, realistic goals.
• Design specific plans to reach those goals.
• Try out these new behaviors.
• Regularly review your progress and be prepared to keep experimenting if necessary.
2) Accept reality, let go of a hopeless fight, and get on with your life:
• Recognize the limits of your control over the universe.
• Be specific about exactly what you cannot control in any particular situation.
• Ask yourself what you have been wanting from someone that you will never get.
• Challenge your fears about the terrible disasters you think will happen if you don’t get what you
want from that person.
• Reclaim your personal power with specific actions and thoughts.
• Consider forgiving those who have hurt you in order to let go of your simmering anger towards
them.