Combatting Excessive Jealousy
- Here’s a jealousy memory devise to help you recognize the warning signs of jealousy. Look at
each letter to see how closely each characteristic fits you.
J = Judgmental
E = Eagle-eyed
A = Angry
L = Lonely
O = Oversensitive
U = Unforgiving (and Unaccepting)
S = Scared
Write the letters and words on a note card and put it in your pocket. It can help you recognize the signs
of a jealous attack early enough to find something healthier to do than have a fit. Use this card to help
you stay in control of your jealousy, and keep it until you have successfully stopped an attack of jealousy
several times in a row.
- Other guidelines.
• Do not: create “trust tests” such as seeing if you can make your partner jealous of you;
• Do not: check his/her phone, follow your partner around, etc.
• Do not: ask a thousand questions about where he/she went, who he/she saw, etc.
• Do not: ask your partner a hundred times a day if he/she loves you (You won’t feel secure
anyway so why bother?).
• Choose consciously to trust your partner. Remind yourself of this promise every day.
• Think of all the ways your partner has shown you can trust him/her (and don’t follow with the
• Work on improving your self-esteem so you feel confidant your partner finds you attractive.
• Consider going to therapy if your jealousy has caused you to lose relationships, become violent
in relationships, or stalked a current or former partner.