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Parenting: Learning how to climb out of darkness

Climbing out of darkness

Photo by: Eric Gay/AP

Three woman all with different stories but all with one common goal.

“There’s education,” Katie Hebert, perinatal mental health therapist, said. “What is normal, what is not, where are we getting our information from? We need to allow ourselves to be okay with wanting to take care of us and that does mean taking care of baby.”

Lindsey Latiolais, Nicole Delahoussaye, and Hebert are all perinatal mental health therapist and mothers who want to help others struggling once their baby arrives.

“Your life is kind of upside down, in a beautiful way, but that’s still a transition,” Latiolais said. ‘I think that’s what stops women from speaking truthfully about where they are based on their fear of judgment and what that might mean about them.”

The trio saw a need in Acadiana to help normalize feelings and help women work through that difficult transition.

“Give yourself grace, Delahoussaye said. “You’re not supposed to know it all. You’re not supposed to have it all together, it’s normal to not have it all together. Let’s be proactive and let’s find you a safe person, place, where you can explore these feelings and not feel like a bad parent.”

The women say before baby make a plan once baby arrives.

“If you’re able, on the front end, start getting some extra help and support during pregnancy then we can set you up with that plan after pregnancy and during that postpartum period,” Latiolais said.

Write a list of people who you would consider your “safe people.” These are the people who will not judge you and your feelings but will also be there to help when you ask.

“We just need help and we’re tired,” Hebert said. “We love our baby, and we just want the best for our baby. If we feel that their needs are not met to our expectations, then we become self-critical. That’s not what we want them to do. How do we keep Mom health and baby healthy and support mom.”

“Women take care of everyone else, use this time to take care of you and invest in yourself,” Delahoussaye said. “If we’re not in the right headspace then our family is not as well.”

Every mother has a story to tell, every story is different, but one thing is the same–we are all just trying to do the best we can during this new chapter of our lives.

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