WHAT DO I NEED RIGHT NOW TO RESTORE BALANCE AND LONG TERM HEALTH?
- By redirecting the mind to focus on this question you are inevitably activating the Evolved Brain
- The only way to answer this question is to think about what YOU can do, not what someone else can do
- This thought process helps to avoid complaining, criticizing or acting out from the Primitive Mind
- Timing is key, and the question must be asked BEFORE your anger levels raise above a level 4
You need to come up with an answer to ‘what do I need to be okay’ by figuring out in the moment what you can do for yourself and take responsibility for your own feelings states. For example, if I’m feeling anxiety and then angry at my wife because she is not ready to go to the airport and it’s starting to be time to go, what I need to be okay, might be to figure out how to temporarily occupy myself until she is ready. This may mean looking at a magazine or checking my e-mail or simply taking some deep breaths and trying to calm myself down or whatever may be effective in a particular context. Figuring out options to be okay places you squarely in the evolved brain, and opposed to complaining, or criticizing, or acting out feelings in some ‘punishing’ Primitive Brain way.
Moving forward, begin to fill this final column in when completing your Anger Log