Session 26: Final Brain Change Review for 26 week group

Have clients go to Appendix A for correct form.

Values clarification and values conflict.
A value is some quality or characteristic that is appreciated, treasured, and cherished – at least by some
people or groups. Typical examples from middle class American society include honesty, loyalty and
romantic love. However, probably no characteristic is universally valued. For example, many societies
are suspicious of romantic love, preferring planned marriages that promote order rather than romantic
adventures that disrupt the status quo. Wars often arise when one people’s values clash with another’s.
In relationships value conflict can lead toward violence: imagine one couple fighting over one of them
“just wanting to have fun” while the other wants to “settle down and raise a family” or another in which
one person believes in “stern” child discipline while the other believes in “loving indulgence.”

People tend to place values in a hierarchy. That helps if two values come into conflict in a person’s life.
As one of our clients said to us: “Sure, I value honesty – as long as it doesn’t get me in trouble.” To him
survival needs take priority over honesty – but only when the two come into conflict.

We suggest you begin this session with the values clarification exercise. Be sure to emphasize that there
can only be one #1 choice, one #2 choice, etc. You should ask each participant about situations in which
they actually made use or are currently using their top values. Also note that we left space to add one
value that might have been left off. Of course that would bring the total to 13 and the client should rank
all 13 accordingly.

Next comes a discussion on values conflict within intimate relationships. Mention the idea that some
value conflict is normal in most relationships. But also note that value conflict can lead to long-term
arguments and resentments that can lead toward domestic violence.

If possible focus upon a client currently having either a personal conflict over his/her values or a
relationship conflict. The goal is to have the group help that person look at possible ways to resolve the
conflict.