Obviously a major component of a non-judgmental perspective is accepting other people exactly as they are and exactly as they are not. When we interact with others in the world, we can honor and respect them exactly as they are, including all their faults and weaknesses. Since each person is a combination of positive and negative qualities, we can accept all of our own attributes as well as those of others, even the ones we don’t like.
True acceptance of this kind is not a passive activity. It is a positive contribution that you give to other people. In fact, you could say that love, which we normally assume to be a feeling or emotion, is the natural consequence of such generous acts of acceptance. When you accept other people exactly as they are, they feel connected to you. Because you grant them the freedom to be the way they are, they feel better about you and themselves.
Demonstrating acceptance
Inherent in the idea of demonstrating acceptance is that we don’t judge other people by some set of rules or standards. As previously mentioned this means that we have to be able to suspend our judgments. Acceptance is a special human capacity which moves out towards people as they are, and maintains their dignity and personal worth. It means accepting their strengths and weaknesses; their favorable and unfavorable qualities; their positive and negative reactions; their constructive and destructive impulses, and their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.
The Qualities of Acceptance
- caring
- concern
- compassion
- consistency
- courtesy
- firmness
- interest
- listening
- moving toward
- respect
- valuing
- warmth