Kristin Cavallari says co-parenting after divorce has given her the ‘perfect balance’
Kristin Cavallari says that she’s found the “perfect balance” in her life since getting divorced.
The 35-year-old reality television star and entrepreneur joined Nikki and Brie Bella for a live episode of the sisters’ The Bellas Podcast in Nashville, Tenn., where Cavallari discussed motherhood. When asked about balancing work and being a mother-of-three, she shared that co-parenting has helped.
“I got divorced two years ago and it’s sort of forced this perfect balance on me. I have my kids for a week now and then I don’t have them for a week. So what I’ve decided to do is that when I have them, I’m mom. That’s it. I really don’t even go to the office when I have them because I’d rather be home prepping dinner and going to the grocery store and doing all the mom stuff,” she explained. “But then when I don’t have them, I’m in L.A., I’m in New York, I’m at the office later, I’ll see my friends. That’s when I can catch up on my personal life too and do all the work I need to do. So in that sense, I’m lucky.”
The Very Cavallari alum ended her marriage to former professional football player Jay Cutler in 2020, just before announcing the end of the reality show that documented her life as a wife, mother and business owner. Since being single, Cavallari explained that she’s been able to reprioritize her life.
“It’s obviously hard not having my kids for a week, you know, every Friday everyone’s a mess, we’re all crying. But it has freed up a lot of my time and it’s allowed me to almost refind myself again,” she said. “When you have three little kids, and mine are all close, they’re about a year and a half apart each, for a while I felt like I blacked out and my whole life was just like kid, kid, kid, kid, kid. And then I got this divorce and I was able to take a step back and refind who I am again. And so that’s all been nice. So I’m choosing to focus on all the positives and there are a lot of positives, even though there are a lot of negatives as well.”
Cavallari, who shares Camden, 9, Jaxon, 7 and Saylor, 6 with her ex, later explained that the kids spend the week at one of their parent’s houses until Friday morning when they’re dropped off at school. At pick-up, they’re brought to the other parent’s home. For the weeks that she has the children with her, Cavallari said she parents without help.
“There are hard moments, for sure, but in a lot of ways I know I can’t rely on anybody so I just know I have to do everything, and that’s OK. So I just power through. But there are times where I’m like, you know it would be nice if I had someone to help me out a little bit when everyone’s like, ‘Mommy, mommy, I need this. Mommy, mommy, help me with this. Mommy.’ I’m like, ‘Oh my god, you guys. There’s three of you and there’s one of me,'” she said. “It’s challenging at times but I also know that because I lose them every Friday, I can power through.”
She also suffers from less mom guilt as a result of having uninterrupted with them on a biweekly basis.
“Mostly my guilt right now just comes from not being with them for a week because when I have them, I really don’t get babysitters. I have a handful of times but like I really just try to be with them,” she explained.
Through the time that she’s had alone, Cavallari said that she’s done a lot of personal growth.
“Through my divorce, I’ve done a lot of reflecting and I’ve really looked inward. I feel like I’ve grown up the most that I have in the last two years because I’ve essentially been on my own. The first year I dated, I was having fun, I was like getting back out there. And then really for the last year, I haven’t dated,” she said. “I’ve really just focused on myself, making sure that I worked through everything with my ex and really closed that chapter.”
She added, “It was important to me to just really get in touch with myself again and figure out who the hell I am now. I’m 35 and I was 23 and I had three kids right away. I was a kid. I’m a different person now and that feels really good. And I think just having my own house, having my freedom. Everything in my life just seems to be really good right now.”