By: Cheryl Salvan & Danica Joan Dockery, M.Ed
Domestic violence is not just what everybody thinks of, not just physical or emotional abuse. It also refers to one person in a relationship or marriage having domination or control over the other.
If a spouse or partner only wants to have control over you using shame, blame, giving you a feeling of guilt and helplessness it is already a form of domestic violence.
We often associate the term with women playing victims, reality is, men are also victims. What the male counterpart typically receives is verbal and emotional abuse from their female partner.
Domestic Abuse Intervention Project developed this Power and Control Wheel to better identify examples of abuse. In high conflict custody battles, the presence of alienating behaviors is identified in the segment of this wheel entitled “Using Children.” Covert abuse can go unnoticed without the presence of an educated eye.
It is important that when you experience domestic violence you talk to someone, make a personalized safety plan, get legal advice, get your partner into an abuse education program if possible. Most importantly, the biggest power a partner has over their target is fear. By building self-esteem, a social network and participating in professional therapy, you have taken a huge step to freedom from the controlling relationship.
We at Kids Need Both, Inc have created the Hope4Families movement to empowering families with the resources, education and support to make the best decisions for their future. To learn more visit: https://hope4families.net/ or https://kidsneedboth.org/